2009 NFL and Fantasy Football Predictions

Prediction: Favre will cry

The 2009 NFL regular season is here, and the real fun is ready to kick off.

Every season brings new surprises; it also brings things that make you scratch your head. If everything made as much sense on the field as it does on paper, in spreadsheets and through equations, the game wouldn’t be nearly as fun — or maddening trying to prognosticate what’s going to happen!

Here are some things I am going to hang my hat on entering the year. It’ll be 17 weeks before we know how right — or wrong — I am. Things I think I think entering the 2009 season are:

I’ll start with an easy one so, that way I have at least one right: Minnesota Vikings quarterback Brett Favre cries.

New England Patriots running back Fred Taylor will lead the team in rushing yards, touchdowns and fantasy football production. He’ll be a more than adequate flex-play for fantasy leaguers this year.

Miami Dolphins backup quarterback Chad Henne starts at least seven games for the Dolphins, and shows some of the moxie that made him a fan favorite at the University of Michigan. Offensive tackle Jake Long keeping Henne safe… haven’t we seen this before?

I’m stuck(ey) on you… New York Jets wide receiver Chansi Stuckey is Johnny on the Spot for the Jets all year. He leads the team in receptions and receiving yards. Receiving touchdowns will fall to second-year tight end Dustin Keller.

Grant explodes this year

Green Bay Packers running back Ryan Grant silences his critics and makes everyone forget about Brandon Jackson behind him. Finally healthy, and with a full training camp under his belt, Grant piles up 1,700 offensive yards and scores 12 times. He also makes me smile all season for being able to snag him as late as Round 4 of fantasy football drafts…

All of the fantasy football participants jumping all over the jock strap of Buffalo Bills running back Fred Jackson are sadly disappointed when he doesn’t do any better than last year’s 571 rushing yards and 317 receiving yards. Still good numbers, mind you, but not the break-out season many are looking for.

Baltimore Ravens running back Ray Rice piles up 1,400 combined yards rushing and receiving. He catches at least 40 passes and scores eight times.

Patriots wide receiver Joey Galloway stays healthy and posts 60 receptions, 1,000 yards and six touchdowns. Not bad production for the third option in the passing game.

New York Jets running back Leon Washington continues to play second-fiddle to Thomas Jones all season…

Free-agent wide receiver Marvin Harrison never signs with a new team and quietly disappears into retirement.

The Cleveland Browns win just three games all season. They make a change at quarterback – again – in season, only to have the same mediocre results.

Parker will prove many wrong this year

Pittsburgh Steelers running back Willie Parker stays healthy all season and shows signs of being “Fast Willie Parker” once again. He keeps second-year back Rashard Mendenhall firmly behind him on the depth chart, and in playing time.

Wide receiver Chris Henry leads the Cincinnati Bengals in receiving touchdowns, and he supplants Laveranues Coles as the team’s No. 2 receiver a month into the season.

Cowboys oft-injured wide receiver Miles Austin comes out of no where, stays healthy and leads the Cowboys’ receivers in yardage and touchdowns this year.

Cowboys wideout Roy Williams, while clowning around during practice, bets a teammate he can punt a football and hit the jumbo-Jerry-tron above the field. He suffers a season-ending groin injury in the process.

Houston Texans second-year running back Steve Slaton sees the majority of the goal-line carries all season and becomes a top-five fantasy football running back this season… top-three in point-per-reception leagues.

Speaking of the Texans, quarterback Matt Schaub somehow avoids the injury-bug all season and starts all 16 games for the team. The Texans win the AFC South, too. Something tells me these two are going to come back to haunt me!

Tennessee Titans oft-troubled backup quarterback Vince Young replaces Kerry Collins as the team’s starting quarterback after six games.

In a standard-scoring fantasy league, Tennessee Titans running back LenDale White scores more fantasy points than exciting runner Chris Johnson.

Favre loses three close games because he throws poor passes, which are intercepted near the end of games. He cries over that, too.

Cadillac will lead the Bucs in rushing

Basically left for dead on the washed-up running back junk heap two months ago, Tampa Bay Buccaneers runner Cadillac Williams leads the Bucs in rushing this year.

The Oakland Raiders hated being outdone by the Detroit Lions last season. This year, they try their best to go 0-16, but fall short by winning two games on accident. Oh, they also fire head coach Tom Cable during the season. Actually, I think the Raiders can be the second-best team in the AFC West. They will do everything they can not to let that happen.

San Diego Chargers running back LaDainian Tomlinson leads the AFC in rushing yards. He would lead the NFL, too, if it wasn’t for that darn Adrian Peterson rushing for 1,800 yards with the Minnesota Vikings.

Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez throws for 3,400 yards and 20 touchdowns in his rookie season.

Denver Broncos quarterback Kyle Orton shushes his critics and throws for close to 3,800 yards and 22 touchdowns in the pass-happy Denver system.

Kansas City Chiefs running back Larry Johnson returns to previous glory, rushing for 1,300 yards and punishes opposing defenses once again. Unfortunately, it won’t be enough to help return the Chiefs to any form of glory.

Dallas Cowboys running back Felix Jones is this year’s version of Titans’ Chris Johnson. While Marion Barber III is the starter, Jones chips in close to 1,300 yards of combined rushing and receiving yards and finds the end zone eight times.

New York Giants rookie wide receiver Hakeem Nicks makes the team forget about Plaxico Burress, and leads all rookies in receptions, receiving yardage and touchdowns.

Philadelphia Eagles running back Brian Westbrook sheds the injury-bug during the regular season and plays in all 16 regular season games.

Panic sets in at the Metrodome when Favre cannot be found just before kickoff. Favre is late for the home game because he cannot decide which pair of cleats he should wear that day. It’s a tough decision for Favre, also one that brings a tear to his eye.

Washington Redskins quarterback Jason Campbell is a top-10 fantasy quarterback in standard fantasy league scoring systems.

Giants running back Ahmad Bradshaw combines for over 1,000 yards of combined offense and scores at least six times.

Bryant will disappoint

Tampa Bay Buccaneers franchise wide receiver Antonio Bryant fails to match last year’s numbers of 84 receptions, 1,249 receiving yards and seven touchdowns, as the Buccaneers’ passing game struggles all season.

Seattle Seahawks quarterback Matt Hasselbeck rebounds after an injury-plagued 2008 campaign and throws for 3,700 yards and 27 touchdowns.

Eagles wideout Jason Avant becomes the team’s second-best receiving option statistically behind second-year receiver DeSean Jackson. He catches at least 60 passes for 700 yards and four scores as the team’s clutch third-down option.

Eagles rookie receiver Jeremy Maclin only makes an impact on special teams and contributes little to the team’s offense. He has less than 20 receptions in his first season.

Saints wide receiver Robert Meachem finally gets his act together this year and beats out receiver Devery Henderson for the No. 3 receiver spot in the offense early in the year. Meachem, the team’s most physically dominating receiver, has at least 40 receptions, 700 yards and four touchdowns.

Broncos wide receiver Brandon Marshall leads the team in receptions, receiving yards and receiving touchdowns. I don’t care that he doesn’t know the offense. He is the team’s best option on offense amongst the receivers, and they are going to get him the football regardless of how little he knows the offense and how big of a turd he has been during the offseason.

Not buying into the hype

Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler shows Bears’ fans why his ego is even bigger than the Windy City itself. He calls out his teammates. He calls out his coaches. He calls out the fans. He demands the team give him a top-notch receiver, and his numbers suffer all season long. Oh, and then he demands a raise.

Seahawks WR T.J. Houshmandzadeh is second in the NFC (behind New Orleans RB Reggie Bush) in receptions.

New Orleans Saints running back Reggie Bush finally stays healthy and plays in 16 games this season. He leads the NFL in receptions, continuing to prove he isn’t really a running back.

Irritated with the poor play of quarterback Byron Leftwich, the Buccaneers turn their reigns over to rookie Josh Freeman.

Arizona Cardinals backup quarterback Matt Leinart, replacing an injured Kurt Warner, starts at least five games for the Cardinals and makes the team have buyer’s remorse in regards to how much money they invested in Warner during the offseason.

St. Louis Rams backup quarterback Kyle Boller starts at least five games for the Rams in place of oft-injured quarterback Marc Bulger this year.

The Seahawks win the NFC West.

Bears wide receiver Earl Bennett, a second-year pro, leads the team’s receivers in receptions, yards and touchdowns this season despite not making an impact in the slightest last season.

This Gore didn't invent the Internet...

San Francisco 49ers running back Frank Gore is the second-best running back in the NFC in terms of rushing yards. He trails just running backs Adrian Peterson and LaDainian Tomlinson in overall rushing yards this season.

Detroit Lions rookie wide receiver Derrick Williams moves up the depth chart into the No. 2 receiver role by mid-season. He isn’t worth owning in fantasy football leagues early, but ends up with at least 45 receptions, 500 yards and two touchdowns this season.

Cowboys backup tight end Martellus Bennett catches 35 balls for 420 yards and three touchdowns. Not bad for someone playing second fiddle to all-pro Jason Witten.

Oh, and did I mention Favre cries?

That wraps up my wild and crazy predictions for the 2009 NFL season. Do you agree with my assessments? Disagree?

Do you have some wild and crazy predictions of your own? Let us hear them below in the comments area!